I feel like a lot of the time when I tell people I am a full-time missionary who has dedicated my whole life to serving those in need, all in the name of Jesus, I get a lot of looks and sentences asking why?

 

I didn't grow up with the blessings I have today, and like us all, I didn't escape the harshness this world brings. I grew up in a home where trauma was life and survival was normal. This is not something I recognized till later in life, that was just life and I knew things were hard but I never saw them as traumatic or survival mode till later. It wasn't something intentional just life, my mom was very sick in and out of the hospital and when I was still young my dad was in a very bad car accident that left him disabled and unable to work. Due to this we grew up with very little, in not a great area to grow up in, because of this my sister and I grew up fast and a lot of the time raised ourselves. Long story short life got harder with age, new circumstances, drugs, abuse, health issue mental and physical, new accidents, and decisions happened that just made life a constant cycle of trauma and survival. But the most important thing that I held onto was my mom always said "we may be poor but we are rich in love", and the biblical teaching to "treat others how you want to be treated". So despite how things went, or how they seemed, we all did our best to love, even when I look back and have a hard time seeing it, and that teaching kept me living for the better.

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Most people also think well you must have known Jesus your whole life then, but this isn't true. Did my family call ourselves Christians? Yes. But we stopped going to church when I was very young, only going occasionally off and on throughout the years. Only praying at dinner, before bed, and when we needed or wanted something. You know kind of like a routine, it was there but there was not much more. Otherwise, we lived like the rest of the world, couldn't tell us apart otherwise. I hunted demons, and ghosts wanted to interact with them. I did the bad games, got into partying, drinking, drugs, sex, witchcraft, demon hunting, tried to commit suicide, struggled with my sexuality, I was striving to make those big bucks, I was doing everything and anything to be enough and feel whole- alive. You name it and I most likely did it. Doesn't sound like a Christian right? So what happened? I was living but I wasn't alive. I was trying to fix myself, to fit in, to find the right label, the right way to live, I was trying to be loved, giving all I had to the world, and it broke me. I had tried to commit suicide when I was 17 but didn't go through with it because GOD told me I'd go to hell, and showed me how broken I'd leave my family. So I didn't but in 2019, 2 years later I was the lowest I could get, drunk, high, and broken I had had enough. So in that state, I cried out to GOD to come and save me to change my life and He did.

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Most people think that's the end of the story life got better right, happily ever after? Yes and no. What no one really tells you is that giving your life to Christ isn't easy, you mess up, you don't become perfect, life doesn't get easier, but you do come alive, and learn to live unconditionally loved, being sanctified each day. I gave my life to Christ in December 2019 and in February 2020 I made it official with baptism and applied to go to a university in Mexico to study photography and missions. I didn't have the money for it, Covid-19 happened, yet GOD provided away and paid for me. I ended up going to YWAM in Mexico 2020 and since then my entire life has changed and I have decided to become a full-time missionary. GOD changed my life by helping me heal from the trauma, forgive those who hurt me, see myself as someone of worth and value, take care of myself, and finally accept that I am and always have been loved and wanted by Him. This has been the hardest thing I have had to face in my entire life because it meant to stop surviving and start living by looking at myself, the past and letting go of everything I let define me, unlearning toxic and harmful patterns, and choosing to let His truth, love define me and living that out. 

 

His love has brought me to life, and continues to transform and restored my life each day, as Christianity is a lifetime process, not an instant fix. I have now been sober since and have made my life healthy. I still mess up, but it's okay because I know I am completely loved and I will not go to hell, because I have forgiveness. GOD told me I would go to hell and it saved my life, but He then saved my life again. In this life, I am saved by how He has shown me a love for myself and others which has transformed my life, and for the next because now I never have to fear hell because I have eternal life in Him. All because I have accepted and believe in Him and His love. A love that looked at me in all my sin, while I was still chasing demons and doing wrong, and said "I still want you, I still love you more than you can imagine. I love you enough to come down from heaven, live the life you can't by trying to and die for you, paying the price of sin so that I may never be apart from you. So that you may never have to perish, never be alone, have freedom, abundant life, and life everlasting." A love that asks for nothing but my love in return, because He desires a relationship, not service.

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This love is why I am a missionary. This love is why I have dedicated my life to serving others, showing them that they are loved, valuable and important, because it is this love that has saved my life, and made it far better than I ever could have imagined. This love is what can and does change the world because it looks at the broken, the poor, and the sinful and still says you are worth it, I want you, I love you, and I want to help others see that love. I want to help be the bridge that gives people the choice to know, accept and live in this love by bringing the message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, so that He may change the world. After all, the world is made up of people just like me who need saving, who need love, and the world is changed when you change the world of one individual. 

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I am living this mission out currently as a missionary in Mexico, where I take part in mercy ministries that work with improving the circumstances of the poor, with YWAM, a missionary organization. I would love for you to join me in changing the world. Check out my Missions page to encounter and learn more about how you can help and hear more about how GOD is changing lives. If you want to hear in-depth studies, stories, or testimonies that I am personally learning check out my Blog. Art is also a big part of my life so I also encourage you to check out my Portfolio.

 

Lastly, my hope is you know that whether or not you do any of this, you are loved, seen, valued, wanted and important. I truly wish you the best and hope this blessed you. May GOD be with you.

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Love and Blessings: Destiny